0002 COMM Chloe Jennings White spends he days confined to a wheelchair. It’s tough to get around and she struggles with living in the world that isn’t built for the disabled. However Chloe is actually able to walk perfectly, and chooses to live her life like a paraplegic, due to a rare psychological disorder called BIID. 0022 COMM Despite wishing she was paralysed Chloe still takes part in extreme sports like skiing. 0027 COOM BIID has led Chloe, a Cambridge University educated research scientist, to harm herself in a bid to become paraplegic for real.
0036 Chloe I have fantasies about having a car wreck, and becoming paraplegic from a car wreck. 0042 COMM Perhaps most shockingly of all, London born Chloe is on a quest to find a surgeon willing to operate in order to paralyse her legs forever. 0050 Chloe I did find a surgeon in another country who would be prepared to do femoral and sciatic nerve transections to paralyse my legs. It would be at least twenty five thousand dollars, and I don’t have the money to do it. That’s basically the only reason that I’ve not yet had surgery.
0115 COMM For her whole life Chloe has wished more than anything that she was disabled. 0120 Chloe From about ten years old I somehow got the idea to bandage my legs when I was home alone so nobody would know what I was doing, I sort of fabricated a leg brace so that I couldn’t bend my knee and walking around like that felt Oh wow, this is how it’s supposed to be. 0141 COMM Chloe struggled to cope with her feelings. 0144 Chloe For a long time I had no idea why I.
Woman Wants To Be Permanently Paralysed Body Integrity Identity Disorder
Felt this way about my legs. 0151 COMM Chloe began to get real relief from her condition when she started using the wheelchair full time in 2008. 0158 Chloe When you have BIID, the stress is really intense. The first few friends I told I would literally be shaking or, and crying even with emotion. I was not really living a normal life before that, it was always in my mind, like, I’m supposed to be paralysed! 0218 COMM But while Chloe pursues her quest to have surgery that will leave her paraplegic, she loves taking part in her favourite past.
Time, downhill skiing. 0227 Chloe Skiing is essential to me and it has a lot of benefits for me in terms of BIID. I ski very aggressively, if it’s a groomed run I will absolutely go as fast as I can. My friends and family can get a little worried about me skiing sometimes because they know, they know that I ski very aggressively, and y’know, they know it’s in the back of my mind that I actually want to get injured. 0302 COMM To deal with the anxiety BIID causes.
Her, Chloe sees psychotherapist, Dr. Mark Malan as often as she can. 0309 Chloe The problem that I run into is that people make up these fantasies about BIID, its like they say, Oh well, you’re doing it to get disability benefits, you’re doing it to get attention and then you say No, that’s not it and they’ll come up with another fantasy of theirs. 0329 Dr. Malan So it sounds like, just misunderstanding that a lot of what you’re having to do is educate people about it. 0335 Chloe Oh education yeah.
0337 COMM Dr. Malan says BIID is actually very real. 0340 Dr. Malan It’s a psychological disorder that people have, where they desire to have some sort of body modification, but it’s a sense that a person really wants to lose some sort of ability that they have. 0357 COMM And like other BIID sufferers, Chloe’s illness has worrying symptoms. 0401 Chloe I have to admit any time I’m driving I sort of conjure up accident scenarios in my mind where I would become paraplegic. 0412 COMM In 2009, Chloe really did crash, surviving.
A horrific seventy five mile per hour double roll over. 0419 Chloe One of the things that was in my mind, after the car wreck was dId I do this deliberately in order to um, y’know, be paraplegic 0433 Chloe I couldn’t say for sure at that time that I had not done it deliberately because I simply had no memory of, that. 0444 COMM Chloe’s attempts to injure her legs mean many of her friends and loved ones worry about her. Like Dave Allen, a hiking buddy. 0451 Dave It’s scary for all of her friends y’know,.